


RPDR x BB16 Crossover

by Livingshroom



Category: Big Brother RPF, RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Blowjobs, Crack, Curses, M/M, Sexual Humor, Sexual Repression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 19:17:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3702823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Livingshroom/pseuds/Livingshroom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frankie’s a contestant on Drag Race and Zach learns how to get ahead of the competition. OR how to get some head from the competition.</p>
            </blockquote>





	RPDR x BB16 Crossover

"Sometimes to make the grade and ace the test...you have to give some head to get ahead of the rest," Rupaul winked over the TV screen as all the queens laughed. Except Miss. Fame. The joke had gone over her, uh, head.

"I don't get it," Miss.Fame whispered and tilted his chin in confusion like a distraught chicken.

Frankie only patted his fellow queen's shoulder in reassurance.

Rupaul threw open the work room door: "Hello, ladies!  Who's ready to start learning? Because in this weeks maxi challenge y'all illiterate asses are going back to school."

 

\----------------

 _Violet's confessional:_ "I really don't care what this week's challenge is. As long as it isn't another goddamn group activity. I came here to compete...not hold hands and sing kumbaya. I'm so tired of working with people who aren't me."

\----------------

 

"You will be competing in teams...to remake these frat _BROs_ into some sorority _HOES_!" Rupaul waved his arms dramatically as a crowd of frat boys came streaming in behind him. The camera zoomed into Violet's face as she looked at the overgrown teenagers with thinly veiled disgust. This wasn't going to be an easy challenge.

Frankie hadn't bothered to take a good look at the lineup of fratboy scum as he awaited the word. Spelling didn't come easily to Frankie, and there was nothing more humiliating than losing another mini-challenge.

 

\----------------

 _Frankie's confessional_ : " _Shit_! I don't even know how to spell my own twitter handle on a good day. I was in the bottom last week...and, GURL, I don't like to bottom twice. I need to prove to everyone that Frankie Grande is versatile. That's V. E. R. S.... _uhhh_....?"

\----------------

 

"Now, I think the best way to pick teams...is a spelling bee. Whoever spells the word correctly in the shortest amount of time will not only get to have their pick but also assign everyone else's partners," Rupaul decided as he handed out chalkboards to all the queens, "On your marks...get ready...set...SPELLL! The word is -something these boys know a lot about- alcohol."

There was a commotion as everyone tried to spell out the word. Katya was babbling, no one was sure in what language, and Pearl was staring directly at the camera in frustration like this was an episode of the Office. Frankie prayed to the drag gods that he wouldn't be the only one to spell it wrong. If only Adore Delano was here to fuck it up.

Of course, Ginger spelled the word correctly first and selected the slimmest and most feminine looking boy- Eric. Then he paired Miss. Fame with Caleb, a southern beefcake, Pearl with Logan, aka douchebag trash, Violet with Cody and Frankie with Zach. The shade of it all.

 

\----------------

 _Pearl's confessional_ : "God, I'm over this. Frat boys? Why didn't they just give us actual trash cans to redecorate. If I wanted to associate with people who love shitty beers and drunken girls than I would have just stayed at the musty-ass bars in LA. So done."

\----------------

 

"Um, hi," Frankie forced a smile as he looked from Zach’s ‘'Suns Out Guns Out' T-shirt to his new Nike sneakers, "So, why did you sign up for this show?"

"Shit. I'm not like _gay_ or anything!"

"-Literally nobody asked or even implied that," Frankie crossed his arms and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. There was defensive about sexuality and then there was... _Zach Rance._

"I just thought that maybe it would be a good conversation starter with the chicks. Something else to add to my Tinder profile besides ‘ _unemployed asshole who likes to make out with his dog_.’ Girls get so wet for dudes that are, like, in touch with their feminine side. And I'm all about picking up girls and getting tit pics, ya know?"

"No," Frankie raised an eyebrow, "No, I don't know."

"Right, right. Gay. I'm like totally chill with that by the way. I have LOTS of gay friends. Wait...no, I don't. But if I DID have any friends that were gay or black or whatever then I would be chill with it," Zach rambled. Frankie had stopped paying attention to the drivel that was coming out of this frat boy's mouth five minutes ago. Pearl mouthed 'help' as Logan put on heels and then struggled to remain standing. Frankie gave him a sympathetic nod.

"Okay, Zach, now that you've talked about how comfortable you are with your sexuality how about you try these heels on."

Zach looked vaguely drunk as he sauntered around the room in heels. Frankie covered his mouth to stop from laughing as he fell on top of Ginger. Ah, sweet karma,  Frankie couldn't help but think.

"Sorry!" Zach gasped as he leaned against Frankie for support. One of his hands had settled on the curve of Frankie's waist and his lips were close to his ear. When Frankie moved his hand so that it was intimately rubbing the other man's ear, he heard no complaints.

"No, Zach, it's perfect. You're going to be," Frankie leaned in close so none of the other queens could steal his idea, "a drunken sorority girl."

"Shit, we should give her a real white girl name... _Rachel_?"

" _Hmmm_ , there's nothing whiter and drunker sounding than Rachel-vodka-cran," Frankie decided as he let go of Zach's waist.

Zach hovered close to him in the workshop. He rested his chin on Frankie's shoulder and hugged him for longer than was necessary. Frankie got a feeling that if he offered to give him a blowjob then Zach would drop his pants 'straight' away. The camera focused in on Zach's hand, which was running through Frankie's hair, and Frankie knew that he was going to get lots of questions about the nature of their 'relationship' from the producers. Fun.

Frankie shook his head and wondered why the fuck frat boys were so messed up. He assumed it was the toxic amount of ultra-masculinity and poisonous levels of heteronormativity combined with their deeply, internalized misogyny.

"You have an eyelash there. Lemme get that for you," Zach whispered as he leaned forward and brushed his thumb tenderly against Frankie's cheek, " _Bro_."

 

\----------------

 _Frankie's confessional_ : "Look, I'm not being judgmental. I was in a frat once. But actions _do_ speak louder than words, and he is rubbing against me like a dog in heat. So if you want it, Zach...then come and get it."

\----------------

 

When the cameras were gone, Zach became even more touchy-feely, and Frankie was finding it _HARD_ (pun intended) to concentrate on the challenge with Zach nibbling against his neck. Frankie sighed, pushed him away, and readjusted his boner.

"This is really fucking hard," Frankie groaned.

"I could try to help," Zach simpered as he intentionally rested his hand on top of Frankie's thigh and squeezed. Frankie sucked in his breathe, looked around to make sure everyone was busy, and rubbed Zach through the material of his khaki shorts. It only took a second before they were both flushed.

" _Oh_? Like that?" Frankie grinned as he took in Zach's embarrassed lip bite and the way that he couldn't even meet his eyes as confirmation. There was nothing like a little bit of repressed homosexual loving to take Frankie’s mind off this competition.

" _Fuck_ , does it make me gay if I want to fuck you while you're in nothing but drag? It's, like, kinda straight 'cause you're pretending to be a girl," Zach said. Frankie blinked and wished that he could unhear all of that ignorance.

"You're so problematic that it's making me hornier. How about we don't worry about labels until your mouth is finished with me? Then we can label it 'confusion' or whatever helps you jack off with a clear conscience."

Violet, who turned to watch them, raised an eyebrow as they walked to the bathroom. Besides Violet, Cody was talking about the time that he had kissed his brother Paul for a dare so he was technically 1/15ths gay. Technically.

 

\----------------

 _Violet's confessional:_ "I pray for a single's challenge and what do I get? I get a boy who thinks that 'incest is best.' Miss.Fame is over there making clucking noises with Caleb. Max is trying to think of how she can wear a grey wig and not get murdered by Michelle Visage. Meanwhile, Frankie and Zankie left hours ago to do the dirty in some bathroom stall. The only thing that can save this day is if Max walked in on them f*cking. Seriously? _Come on._ ”

\----------------

 

“Cum on me,” Zach begged as he kneeled on the bathroom floor and Frankie obliged him by finishing on those flushed cheeks. For a boy who spent his day talking about all the ‘pussy’ he was going to slice after the show, he seemed at ease underneath Frankie. Zach sensually licked the cum from his fingertips, and his eyes watered with concentration as he wrapped his lips around Frankie’s cock to clean him off as well.

“Let me do you, baby. What did Rupaul say? Something about giving a little head to get ahead...” Frankie muttered as he pulled Zach up and bent down until he was level with his erection. He skillfully undid Zach’s fly and pressed kisses to the fabric of his crouch. Zach whined for more but Frankie continued to tease him.

“Can you put on the wig?” Zach whispered just as Frankie licked the tip of his cock.

Frankie, despite having slept with more men than Brian Kenney, had never performed sexual acts in drag. For Zach, he would make an exception. Plus, he was horny and Pearl wasn’t interested so Zach was Frankie’s best viable option.

“I love girls with boys names...” Zach whispered as he leaned his head back and enjoyed the feeling of Frankie against him. Frankie laughed at the idea that Zach had deluded himself into thinking this was in any way hetreosexual. The vibrations of his laughter must have been pleasant against Zach’s cock because he came a minute later. It was as underwhelming as you’d expect from a boy whose favorite sexual position was the ‘jackhammer.’

Frankie cleaned himself off and Zach splashed some water on his face. Zach tried to kiss Frankie and Frankie swerved him.

“That was just sex, Zach-attack, not a prelude to some DL relationship. Oh, your fly is still undone.”

When they had both cum, they both went to continue working on their runway looks. Frankie had decided covering Zach’s body in a nude illusion and frootloops over his private parts would bring out the whole ‘drunk-girl-who-passed-out’ angle. Frankie just hoped the judges would understand the concept.

“Stop eating the cereal and help me put it on the dress! If Adore Delano could get through all these sewing challenges with nothing but some hot glue and desperation than you can bet that Frankie Grande is getting it done.”

“You’re cute when you’re angry. Hey, did I ever tell you that you’re the funniest-”

“Person that you’ve ever met? No, I haven’t heard it in the last five minutes. Please continue with the delusion as long as you help me with this dress. Rachel-vodka cran doesn't just wake up looking this trashy.”

“She has to _werk_ to look that bad,” Zach agreed.

Frankie shook his head. You give a frat boy one blow job and they think they can appropriate gay culture. God, this boy was one disaster waiting to happen.

 

\----------------

 _Max’s confessional_ : “I’m not really sure what Frankie is doing but it involves a lot of cereal and sexual innuendo with his partner than I’m comfortable with. I hope he shaves that strange chin-beard from his fraternity brother before they hit the main stage. I’ll send them positive energy.”

\----------------

 

Frankie was in the bottom three.

“You’re giving me boy body,” Michelle Visage complained.

Of course.

There was nothing to do but lip synch for his life. As irony would have it -or the producers sick sense of humor- he was singing to Ariana Grande’s ‘Break Free.’ Frankie could turn it out, and he sent some irrelevant home. Kandy Who?

“Here’s my number,” Zach winked and slipped it to him, “If you miss me and want to see my face then you can find me on Youknow. I’ll be the ‘Bromeo’ to your drag ‘Juliet.’”

Frankie knew better than to fall for a boy who would likely cheat on him with some eighteen year old girl he found on Tinder. But he smiled as he accepted Zach’s digits and filed it under ‘Fuckboi- call if ur in Florida and dying from blue balls.’

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope someone else finds this idea as ridiculous and amusing as me :)


End file.
